May 27, 2011

Get Over it-Dress Over It







Skirt-Van Huesen [Bought in the summer of 08!]

Lace Top-Forever New



Pearl Bracelet-Forever 21


Ring - Forever 21




I know so many girls in this city, who are not able to dress according what their style really is, because, well the mentality of men in this city is messed up. I am not even going to begin to explain what all they do. They dont even NEED to DO anything. Their creepy stares are quite enough.

I would SO love to wear nice summer skirts and dresses in this scorching heat. But, I dont. I know that ALL girls would be so much happier in expressing themselves through the clothes they REALLY want to wear, if this creep factor wasn't so high in Delhi.

Its perfectly fine to look at a person an appreciate them. Girls do it all the TIME. But there is a subtly to it you see. These creepy men need to STOP raping us with their eyes. I wish all men who did this were shot in the head. If you do it subtly, it wont make the other person uncomfortable.
Anyway, it`s not like the people who do it-stare and be FULL ON letchy will ever READ, let alone read a blog or THIS blog.

No I did not have a horrible experience recently, I am just annoyed at how the way I want to dress is so restricted, by these uneducated creatures.

Of course Delhi is very unsafe for women, and it obviously goes beyond clothes. This is made very clear every other day in the damn newspapers and it was made abundantly clear when Radhika Tanwar was shot dead near her college on Womens Day this year.

My mother makes a good point- When there is a mad dog or any other uncontrollable animal is on the loose, who poses a threat and can do harm to others, we make sure something is done about the ANIMAL,we restrict IT, rather than locking ourselves in our house

Girls from the beginning are told how NOT to dress, how NOT to behave. But are BOYS on the other hand ever told HOW to behave with women, HOW to respect them and what NOT to do in regard to them?

Obviously this is also about the class differences of our society, education and dogmatic mindsets.

Anyway. All I am saying is that  there is a very very long way to go before we can actually reach the level of comfort as maybe people of say, NEW YORK  feel, but maybe we can get what the people living in Bombay have? 

Or Maybe I'am just being a prude and I should GET OVER IT

I was talking to someone about this, before writing the post and she said-"Dress is the first announcement of democratic thought"

Which is quite true. I just want to express my democratic dressing right!!

Oh, and by the way I acessorized the above outfit with a matching dog :)
(not my dog)


Sorry for this "issues of society" post (told you this one would be a socially relevant one) but
I would really like to know what you guys feel about this. Even if you dont live in Delhi, because I am not sure whether what I feel is right or I am just being over conscious.

24 comments:

  1. i cant wear anything too
    i am scared! i am scared that i might raped in broad daylight!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I hate Delhi.

    I wear jeans, a modest half-sleeved t-shirt, and flats 24/7 even if it's 50 fucking Celcius.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I TOTALLY AGREE! Wow, sorry, I had to shout that.

    However, I don't know if I even have the right to say something about this, considering I don't live in Delhi.

    I have been in Delhi twice. I thought it was because I'm a "tourist" (I am originally Indian, but born & raised in Europe) that people looked at me differently, but at every place where me & my sisters went on our own, it seemed like a lot of men were undressing us with their eyes. It was really uncomfortable. There also didn't really seem to be a difference between middle class or upper (middle) class men.

    The first time I was in Delhi I wore a dress above my knees and I have never seen so many men stare at my legs?? (And I was completely confused because I had never been to India.) That was when I realised Bollywood and Priyanka and Bipasha and their dresses are such lies!

    There was one time when we went to the market at Chandni Chowk and we got to this alley that was less crowded and seriously, it was awful, men were just staring openly at us/our bodies.

    Is this what you mean or are these just my own (weird) experiences?

    Anyway, I think that this has a lot to do with different norms and values, different ideas about men and women. I think it will take some time before this can actually change, but on the other hand, I also think that Delhi and the people in Delhi have really changed in a few years so maybe it will change a lot sooner.

    ReplyDelete
  4. great post

    so true about raping with their eyes, its horrible!!

    when R had come to delhi and was walking with me andpeople were staring as if bipasha and john were walking.. he was like wtf dude!!! why do they stare soi much! and i was like chill, its normal here!!! everyone is a celebrity haha

    Love the lace top girl!! the back of the top is super cool, i love it

    men have to be taught now. not the girls.

    ReplyDelete
  5. We all hear that Delhi is not safe for girls.. maybe true, but the stares are not restricted to delhi.. it happens everywhere...

    And what is ironic is that.. shorts and skirts which are the most practical and comfortable clothing for our year-long summers are a restriction for us as u said. BUT people in cities like NewYork who hardly have a month or 2 of summer have total freedom to wear what they want anytime of the year.

    It sucks i tell you...

    ReplyDelete
  6. OMG SO FREAKING TRUE! i was born and raised in the states and we visit india pretty often so the summer after i "grew" we visited again after 3 years and honestly i thought i was the only one who used the term "Eye Rape" because thats indian MENtality (sorry for the horrible pun LOL) and i was there in india for 3 months and men used to STARE at my boobs is it a crime i think no but anyways it was horrible! and lets not get started on their whistling i couldn't even believe that i was in "South Delhi" which is supposed to be a nice area of delhi the only place safe enough for wearing the clothes you like is at the mall and going homein your own car no FREAKING FREDOM i honestly feel bad for the girls living there :(

    ReplyDelete
  7. You are so right!
    It's impossible to be out in public wearing anything that hits above the knee. Those creeps need to be stopped! I mean this the freaking CAPITAL of our country.

    Aditi,
    http://mysartorialsecrets.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. I agree with you completely. Men are not taught how to behave. = /

    But you're so much better off in Delhi.
    I live in Chennai and I know the stares I used to get. It is getting much better now, but it's still pretty horrid when people "Rape you with their eyes" as you put it.

    My college area is known as a "bad" area for good indian girls, because we wear shorts and above the knee clothes, sleeveless and what not. UGH.

    Sorry, I did not mean for this comment to turn into a rant.= P
    But it truly is a great post.
    And I love the ring. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your ring and lace top are so gorgeous!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I TOTALLY TOTALLY agree. Just today I was wearing this white summery dress and was in the car, sitting normally and this guy crossing the road at a red light stopped, took a nice stare, gave a spooky smile and went.
    I felt horrible, I just wanted to rush home and wear a burka or something.
    "raping with the eyes", totally agree. Use this term often!

    And what your mother says about men is totally true, but we live in a patriarchal society and even our own CM who happens to be a woman says that women need to stop dressing up in a way that entices men. So well..

    Love.

    http://labelpurple.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. Unfortunately this happens all over India. In Chennai, even sleeveless tops & T-shirts elicit dirty stares. It really pisses me off. What pisses me off even more is that all this is brushed off under the tame label of 'eve teasing'. Teasing is something we do to friends - you know, pulling their leg. This is not teasing, this is sexual harassment. But frankly I don't think things will change anytime soon. Maybe in the next couple of generations...

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  12. its horrid in Mumbai also!

    Even when i get out with some eye makeup I get such weird cheap looks from the road side men

    they make some dirty kissing like sound! grosses me out!

    ReplyDelete
  13. i totally agree with you,
    i discuss the same thing with my guy every other day,
    the kind of shape i have love skirts,
    as if they're meant for me,
    but I wear them quite often though thats only when I am in car!
    I cannot wear them when I am travelling through other means.

    lets go for an anti-creep club.:P

    ReplyDelete
  14. We love your blog and here we are always checking the news.
    Glorinha and Roger Rinaldi
    Designer Jewelry
    Creators earring icon LIKE.
    http://sbrincos.blogspot.com
    bjs.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Even though I haven't been to Dehli in over 15 years, I still relate with you girls. I was born in Canada and live just outside of Vancouver, but unfortunately the Indian men here are just the same.
    The same "creepy" dudes are immigrating all over the world and taking their attitudes with them. I live in area heavily populated by Indians (mostly new immigrants) and the creep factor is off the charts!
    I'm not sure what it will take for these guys to change but I hope it happens soon.

    Raj
    www.pinkchai.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  16. i totally knw what u mean! i hate it the way i hv to do away wearing shorts or skirts when i m goin the streets of delhi just cos they say i will invite men to rape me!
    y cant anyone tell the men not to rape women instead!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. The top is fab! This issue is why I hate living here and I'm afraid it's never going to stop in this lifetime. If it happens even in Japan, where women are being groped in metros, one would be shocked if such pigs didn't exist in India.

    ♥xx♥

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  18. I love ur undershirt!

    ReplyDelete
  19. You look gorgeous in that dress and i even i agree with the "rape with eyes" thing...men in India was just despo guys and it does restrict the way we dress..trust me I am Assam but staying in Bangalore for last 3 years...what i find is back at home(assam),i,as in all girls have the freedom of wearing any type of outfits we want and these "eye rape" do exist but not that much,yeah guys do pass unwelcome & horrible comments but thats nothing compared to what i get here in Bangalore...Out here even if you are wearing a basic tee with jeans,the guys and even the women(notice that) will look as if you are wearing some kind of lingerie only & no clothes type stares...typical orthodox mentality out here...i love dressing & dolling up but these Bangalore have limited my love...
    Really frustated of the mentality ...

    -nabanisha
    http://nabanishadiaries.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  20. couldn't agree more,it really frustrates me.u can't even wear a simple dress without lewd dirty comments and losers staring at u. :( it doesn't matter what u wear, they won't ever let any chance to lech at u go in vain.They will check u out no matter what u wear.so i sometimes tell myself what the heck, give a damn, wear what u want to... but i wish it was as easy as that.. sigh
    cheers.

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  21. This is sooo true..even though I dont live in Delhi,it is the same thing here in Calcutta..It's like they are raping you with their eyes..so disgusting!

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  22. you are so true.. basic problem lies in the upbringing- teaching young boys to respect girls or women ... i stay in kol.. and my friend staying in delhi says its comparatively more in the capital...

    ReplyDelete
  23. I agree. Where I live, I'm expected to dress a certain way because of old habits of dressing. Sometimes I like being feminine, others I like being masculine. Now I can't wear a dress or skirt, or even just makeup without being made fun of.

    ReplyDelete

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